Was watching Chef! with Lenny Henry last night, and was on the floor laughing at some of the wonderful, insulting, and humorous quotes, and decided I HAD to share them! 
“Personnel” (1.01)
Gareth Blackstock: Let me explain the order of things to you. There’s the aristocracy, the upper class, the middle class, working class, dumb animals, waiters, creeping things, head lice, people who eat packet soup, then you.
“Beyond the Pass” (1.02))
[A customer has asked for salt]
Gareth: Nothing else you wanted was there?
Customer: What?
Gareth: A splash of Lea & Perrins? A dollop of Daddies to stir into the artichoke and hollandaise coulis? It really is no trouble, we could send someone into town. I can get you any thing you like to enhance the flavour of your food. Salad Cream, Newman’s Own, Branston Pickle. You only have to ask. A little Tobasco perhaps or barbeque sauce, a spoonful of sandwich spread maybe. A nice packet of cheese and onion flavour crisps to sprinkle over your monkfish and salmon gratin. We could even get you a prawn vindaloo or family sized pack of chicken drumsticks or menu B for two persons with special fried rice and extra sweet and sour pork balls if you like, I mean we don’t mind going to a bit of trouble to please the customers here really. SALT!!! I’m going back to my kitchen now although GOD KNOWS WHY! I MEAN DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF NUMBER OF HIGHLY SKILLED MAN HOURS OVER A THREE DAY PERIOD HAVE GONE INTO PRODUCING THIS DISH THAT ARRIVES AT YOUR TABLE AT THE ZENITH OF ITS POWERS? IT’S TASTE, FLAVOURS, TEXTURE AND TEMPERATURE AT THE PEAK OF PERFECTION AND WITHOUT TASTING IT YOU CALL FOR SALT?
Lola: Your salt sir.
Gareth: I hate you with a passion you can only dream of. Bon apetit.
“Fame is the Spur” (1.05)
Gareth Blackstock:You’re pea brained, prat faced, pillock headed cretin, what are you?
Everton:I’m a pea brained, prat faced…
Gareth Blackstock:If you took an intensive course of intelligence injections and studied till you drop then one day you might make it to moron third class failed. GIVE ME STRENGTH!
Everton:Yes Chef.
Gareth Blackstock:I don’t want to shout at you.
Everton:No Chef
Gareth Blackstock:I WANT TO BATTER YOU TO DEATH WITH A HARD AND JAGGED KITCHEN IMPLEMENT. I’M ONLY RESTRAINED BY THE LUDICROUS LIBERAL PINKO LAWS THAT THEY’VE GOT IN THIS COUNTRY!
Everton:Yes Chef.
These and more can be found at: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Chef!
For the last few weeks, I have been reading different stories by P G Wodehouse. Who is P G Wodehouse, you ask? If you are a Anglophile, and have seen Jeeves and Wooster (Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry), then you seen one of his stories “come to life”. Wodehouse was an British writer, who wrote novels, short stories and even helped with a few musical productions, such as Anything Goes, Show Boat and wrote the screen play for Fred and Ginger’s Damsel in Distress. But, he is probably best known for his character Jeeves and Wooster, both in book and on screen.
Currently, I am reading his first set of stories, the School Stories (1902-1910). So far, I have read the first book, The Pothunters, and now in the middle of The Prefect’s Uncle. The series takes place in and around fictional schools for boys, around 1890-1900s, and deals with their daily lives and their fondness for sports. Since these books are the first of his writings, they are not “up to standards” with his books in his later years, such as Jeeves and Woosters. But never-the-less they have been a pleasure to read, with their subtle twist and their bits of humor, that foreshadows the verbal patter that will become what Jeeves and Wooster are known for.
So if you are look for a book, or series, that is filled with English life around 1900 and humor, then check out some of P. G. Wodehouse’s earlier books, and Enjoy!
Oh, and if you are looking for a good list of all of his books and short stories, check out: http://www.pgwodehousebooks.com/simplebiblio.htm. Not only do they list the books in order, but they also give your the UK and USA titles if they do vary.
Figured I would start the recipes off with one that is great for springtime.
Earl Grey Sugar Cookies (based off of Sugar Cookie Recipe by Alton Brown)
3 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1/2 tablespoon milk
1/2 tablespoon Lemon extract
3-4 Teabags worth of Earl Grey Tea leaves (make sure it is the finely ground type)
Powdered sugar, for rolling out dough
Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and Earl Grey. Set aside. Place butter and sugar in large bowl of electric stand mixer and beat until light in color. Add egg, milk, and Lemon extract and beat to combine. Put mixer on low speed, gradually add flour, and beat until mixture pulls away from the side of the bowl. Divide the dough in half, roll into logs and wrap in waxed paper. Refrigerate for 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Remove 1 wrapped pack of dough from refrigerator at a time. Cut the logs into 1/2 inch slices. Place at least 1-inch apart on greased baking sheet, parchment, or silicone baking mat, and slighty press down on the dough to make it a bit flatter. Bake for 7 to 9 minutes or until cookies are just beginning to turn brown around the edges, rotating cookie sheet halfway through baking time. Let sit on baking sheet for 2 minutes after removal from oven and then move to complete cooling on wire rack. Serve as is or ice as desired. Store in airtight container for up to 1 week.
Lemon Icing
Powder sugar
Lemon juice
water
Mix powder sugar, lemon juice and water till you reach a smooth consistency. Drizzle or spread on the cookies.